The illusion of perfection… The presumption of figuring out what you truly desire, yearn and hope for, the constant attempt to create a picture-perfect life, the continuous comparison with those around, the fear of missing out and the fear of being left out seems to have spread like wild fire engulfing the calm forest of sanity and peace…
What is the correct path? Which way is the right way? Do you pursue purpose or chase pleasure? Do you do what is right or tread the path that helps you rise? Do you sign up for the career that differentiates you from the crowd or take up the calling that satisfies your inner most desires?
I invariably note that confusion and chaos abound… A sense of restlessness prevails. I often see folks who think that everyone around them has everything figured out. Thinking about their sorry lot, they sulk in sadness. Let me tell you an anecdote. A friend of mine (for the ease of reference and anonymity, let me call him “Rishi”), suffered from a major stroke of quarter life crisis. Up until that moment, I was under the impression that Rishi had it all figured out… For Rishi being a Chartered Accountant by qualification works for one of the Big Four audit firms, travels invariably for audits, earns an enviable salary, and has a picture-perfect resume. However, when I got a 2 am SOS call from Rishi that last well past 2 hours, I woke up to the reality of how miserable Rishi felt. He hated the long hours, he resented his colleagues, he felt repulsed by the work atmosphere and was highly dissatisfied with the way his life was turning out to be. At the end of the call, he confessed that whilst clearing the exams of Chartered Accountancy in first attempt, little did he imagine that he was signing up for a lifelong misery. The reason why he called me was to figure out his chances of pursing academics again and start a fresh life abroad. I did end the call consoling Rishi, asking him to take it easy and promising him that I would definitely find out some suitable options, nevertheless, his state of mind and life in general got me thinking…
This is because Rishi is not the first, nor the last example. In my profession, I come across several disgruntled individuals who after pursuing their profession for a couple of years suffer from a quarter life crisis and find themselves in a state of unbridled misery. They do not know where their life is heading. They crave for change. They want to be rescued. They just yearn to start afresh. Being disillusioned with their lot, they desperately look for meaning and purpose in life, both personally as well as professionally. Not that I profess to know it all or am attempting to convey that I have all the answers. However, given the number of folks I interact with and basis my observations and experience, here are four key learning to deal with Quarter Life crisis:
- No one has it all figured out: A sense ofcertainty is an illusion. No one has it all figured out. To feel good all the time, to expect total bliss, to expect oneself to stay in a heightened sense of professional and personal high is a sure short recipe for disaster. You invariably look at the life of folks around you, the perfect resume, the romantic bliss, the enviable job, the saga of endless glory and achievement and indulge in self pity at your miserable lot. If only you could scratch the surface, rub the mirror clean of the mud of illusion and take a long and hard look, you would realize that invariably everyone bears their cross and are attempting to decode and make sense of where their life is heading.
- Cynics versus Believers: Surround yourself with folks who do not ridicule or belittle you when you wake up to your reality. If you confess to a cynic, he or she would dismiss you by stating “Oh everyone hates their job, big deal, stop cribbing and move on”. On the contrary, a believer would egg you on to find out what your true calling is and follow the same with your heart and soul. Ensure that you have believers around you and avoid cynics like a black plague…
- Meaning and Purpose: The profession that is most satisfying is the one that helps you feel as if you are making a meaningful contribution whilst simultaneously doing justice to your IQ and EQ. By no stretch of imagination am I demeaning or writing off those who pursue corporate dreams. This is because it is perfectly okay if you find meaning in chasing corporate dreams. However, you need to figure out what is your calling… What makes you feel as if you are making a meaningful contribution? What gives you a sense of purpose? Is your achievement merely feeding your ego or does it gives you a sense of direction?
- Take Risk and redirect your life: If you are indeed suffering from a quarter life crisis, rather than continuing in the state of misery and indulging in self pity, you must introspect to figure out what truly makes you happy, what makes you feel meaningful, which path will add a sense of purpose to your life. Once you have it figured out, you must certainly do all that it takes to redirect your life and energies. Given the number of instances in which folks have rescued themselves by taking risk, it is certainly worth a try…
Many people talk a lot about the mid-life crisis… In fact, there are several movies made on the same. But the thing that is more relevant in today’s time is the Quarter Life Crisis… Quarter Life Crisis is a wakeup call. Do you want to continue in a state of slumber experiencing your nightmare or wake up to a beautiful reality? The choice is yours…
Hiren Rathod.
P.S.: Chill Maaro… 😉
